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Do you think suicide can be prevented?

As a teacher, mother and human being, I have dealt with many kids who are cutters.  Can you imagine that; what problems could a child have that is so bad they cut their own arm or leg or other body part?  A lot!

Children are too young to understand how to deal with pain.  Although some may never put a knife or scissor to their arm, many will.  It is a way for the person to ignore his/her inner pain and focus on the pain they are inflicting on him or herself.

Teenagers often start this behavior when they suffer from break-ups, or their parents get divorced, or they fail school.  Anytime a child is faced with difficulty they may resort to self destructive behavior.

When faced with the challenge of helping a self destructive person, these are the steps I have taken:

  1. Therapy is great.  Sometimes we just need someone to talk to and give the tools to cope with difficulties.
  2. Supportive family members are super important.  Talk to your children.  We often get so busy that we put our family on the back burner.  A simple talk, a hug and a positive remark could change anyone’s whole day.
  3. Friends can make or break a child.  Make sure your child has good friends surrounding him.  Who we surround ourselves with is who we will be like.  Don’t be afraid to check on your child; you should be aware of who they play with, where they go and so on.
  4. They say it takes a village to raise a child so get everyone to help.  Talk to family members, teachers and anyone involved in your child’s life.  Encourage them to talk positive to the cutter and listen if he/she speaks.  Often, children will speak to teachers and friends before they go to their parents, don’t be alarmed by that.  Kids often believe their parents just won’t understand.

I decided to write this blog today because my student showed me her arm.  I know when she told me it was because she trusted me, but it is also a cry for help.  This student was crying for help, but she begged me not to tell her mom or anyone else.  And as a teacher, adult, and someone who cares for her, I have to report this in order to get her help.  The guidance counselor saw her and I called her mother up.  My student was so afraid her mother was going to kill her.  Her mom and aunt arrived and were sympathetic.  We told them to take her to counseling.  I assured them that she wasn’t a bad kid, that this was a cry for help because she didn’t have the tools to help her deal with pain.  I gave her my number and told her to call me when she needs me.  I hope her mom takes it seriously and gets her the help she needs.

You see, she is not the only one who faces this.  I know of a mom who was terrified to learn that her child was cutting so she removed the doors from her child’s bedroom to supervise better.  I know of another mother who wanted to put her child in therapy, so when she noticed cuts, the child begged her not to tell her father, so she told her she would keep it a secret only if she went to therapy.  And me, I used to cut my arm all the time as a teenager.  It’s important you know why: I was in pain and I felt I couldn’t burden anyone with my problems.  I also felt like if I cut my arm I wouldn’t think about the emotional pain, I’d focus on the physical pain, and that made me feel strong.  I could take the pain of a scissor breaking my skin.  But I only told my friends about it, until one time…one time, a guidance counselor asked me, ” What do you want out of life?”

“I want to be dead!”

With that answer, my whole life changed.  She made my mother aware of MY feelings.  My mother had to take me to a psychiatrist and the school sent me to a social worker.  The psychiatrist was a bust, but that social worker saved my whole life.  His remedy, he cared.  He would talk to me every week and he would do most of the talking.  He got me out of trouble in school. He checked my report card and told me it wasn’t bad, but that I could do better.  Because of his care, I graduated high school on time and went to college.  That man is still in my life today. He made me learn that I had to change my environment, friends, focus on better things and work hard to accomplish goals.  Once I did that, I started to feel better because I was successful at things.

I know this is a longer than usual blog, but, cutting can lead to suicide.  It is the first cry for help.  Listen!  Love!  Talk!  This beautiful child today had a broken heart.  And she’s tough and sweet and helpful.  Who would have thought she would have cut her arm?  But she did, and she trusted me enough to tell me.  ME!  A past cutter.  There is divine intervention in everything that happens to me.  I love this kid.  I didn’t want to know she was suffering.  But I hope I helped save her life.

Sometimes it’s just like the Beatles say, “All We Need is Love!”

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Do you want to be happy?

Here it is folks, the secret to happiness….

Help others!

If you want to feel good you have to contribute to society.  If you aren’t adding value, I am sure you are an unhappy person.  Last blog I said to surround yourself with people  who add value to your life. But if you don’t add value to anyone, you are just extra weight.  So Contribute!

How, you ask? What are you good at?  Nothing? That’s not true.  Go read a book and share what you learned with someone.  Imagine you took your new knowledge and gave it to someone else.  Elderly people in nursing homes would just love the company, but even business people would love it if you can teach them something new.

Can you sing? I can teach you! lol- I really mean that if you can sing the you should. You were given a gift not everyone has, so use it.  Sing in church, shelters, and old age homes.  Sing on stage or go live. Someone may need to hear your song.

Adding value comes in so many forms.  You can foster or adopt a child or even a pet.  My friend volunteers at  Victory for the Voiceless . She helps abandoned and abused animals find foster and permanent homes.  Her company supplies food and supplies for pets to pet owners that can’t afford to care of their pets.  Her passion makes her and many animals happy.

Maybe you should write a book, or adopt a child from another country.  Build a home for someone in need, teach someone to read, or mow somebody’s lawn.  I know you are full of ideas how to contribute.  If your not, then talk to someone, I am sure they will give you ideas.

For me, giving has never been hard.  Sometimes I feel like Ella Enchanted, she had a spell on her to be obedient, so anytime anyone told her to do something, she had to do it.  Whenever anyone needs help, I am there; sometimes to a fault.  But it makes me feel good.  I feel great knowing I am capable of raising someone else’s children, or driving the basketball team to their game or even just making a meal for someone.

I’m telling you from experience, GIVE! Giving is good for your soul.  You will feel better about yourself.  Who else can give someone your gift?  No one except for you.

If you have ideas you can give about how others can contribute, do so now below. Or just let me know how you contributed recently.

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Who do you surround yourself with?

Join the Conference and leave Your Legacy!

There are plenty of sayings about this idea of who you surround yourself with:

Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.

If you surround yourself with five millionaires, you will be the sixth.

Surround yourself with people that want more out of life.  

The list goes on and on and on!  So what’s the point?

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GREAT PEOPLE!!! 

I tell my students all the time, if you hang out with students who cut school, you will cut; if you hang out with students who study, you will study too!  This is true for adults too.  Surround yourself with people who can help you level up; who can teach you something.

I love going to conferences and speaking to the speakers,  Who else can teach me more?  I try to listen, and learn.  But I also network and meet new people all the time, finding people who know things I don’t.  I have to be able to learn from you or I will lose interest in you.

Growth propels me.  I feel great when I learn new things.  So you have to be smart about something.  Anyone with even a little drive can inspire me and teach me.

Nurturing people are also necessary.  These are the people that love me and just listen to me.  I need people I can hug and cry with.  If this need isn’t met, what do I need you for?  You better be teaching me something then.

In general, I’m attracted to leaders.  Who are you attracted to?  Are they holding you back, helping you grow or just keeping you content? And by the way, if you are content, you aren’t growing.  I believe growth equals happiness.  You pass a test, you feel great!  You win a game, it’s exciting.  You fall in love and oh, the butterflies.  And when you fail, you have learned something.  But when you do nothing different everyday, life gets boring; depressing.

So if you are depressed, or even content, learn something new; meet someone who can challenge you.  Grow!  Surround yourself with people who can and will help you.  Change your network.

On that note, here are some more sayings:

Your network is your net worth.

There is power in proximity.

If you want to learn how to improve your life Join the Conference and Leave Your Legacy

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Are you burnt out?

Everyone gets burnt out at some time or another, but the great thing is we don’t have to stay there.  Feeling bummed out is a choice, believe it or not!  And there are real activities you can do to change the way you feel.

Right now, close your eyes.  Ok, read this first.  Think of the best time of your life.  Where were you?  What did it smell like?  What did it look like?  Can you feel it; taste it; hear it?  Now close your eyes and imagine it for 1 minute and don’t open your eyes until all of your senses can see and feel that place and time again.

All done?  How do you feel?  Now I want you to do it again, but this time do something that will trigger the memory.  Can you touch your hand or rub your cheek.  Maybe a sound, “ahhh” or a dance move.  Add a trigger and do it again.

The more you repeat this activity, the easier it will get to focus on this positive time.  When you feel happy, you can produce more.  I will also sing, dance and be creative any way I can think of to be happy.

Can you think of ways to turn your mood around?  Comment below.

Be happy everyone! And if you want more tips like this, join me for an exciting, life changing camping trip, filled with fun and lessons to help you be happy and create the legacy you have only dreamed about.  August 26-27, 2019 at Camp Swatara in Bethel, PA.  Invite your friends and stay in shared cabins.  You can add this exciting trip to your life resume!

Check out what it’s all about at Let God Set the Stage for Your Life  .